• Welcome to The Tolkien Forum! Connect with fellow Tolkien enthusiasts and join a community that is over two decades old, and still going strong. We look forward to meeting you.  Register

Continue This Totally Ridiculous Story...

ooc; you had to hurt paul newman didn't you???

and the sundance kid cried in agony ,"No, you..can't die...this sin't fair I can sue!" So Robert REdford sues bob for dying and letting his frend die. Bob needs a good defences attornety so he takes the lawyer for the Corleone family in Vegas, Tom Haegan
 
ooc: Of course!

Tom Haegan, however, does not meet up to Bob's expectations and, instead of defending him, prosecutes him. Bob gets convicted of a double murder - himself and Butch, and is sent away to prison for life. "How does this work?" moans Bob, "I'm not even alive, and yet I'm in prison for life?!?!"
 
Peter Falk who happened to be in the same sell on account of a mishap at the local Laundromat tried to sell Bob his glass slipper collection, but then the warden threw a party in the county jail. The prison band was there and they began to wail....

IT WAS THE BLUES BROTHERS!!! They were on a mission, from God.
 
Than as if A miracle had occured bob found that everyone expcept himself was put to sleep by the blues brothers and hopped out
 
So Bob ran outside to a catapult, got in the catapult, and catapulted himself to the moon. There he stayed for a long time and became known as "The man on the moon".
 
Bob was in fact enjoying his new life as a space alien pet. He was fed the choicest of tidbits, given massages almost constantly, and was allowed to do almost anything he wanted. The only drawback was that he had to go onto the moon every night which he did not like as it was very cold and boring. Also, the great big moon guacamole girl chased him around night after night until he got so tired of the same episode happening that he decided to act and change his lot in life.
 
to which he went into the house and demanded to be able to live inside...he used what he knew of Alienese and what he meant to say was "Let me stay inside at night", bu what he said was,"I like living out doors all the time"
 
to which his alien masters, thinking that he was an ungrateful wretch, kicked him out of the house and fed him to the guacamole girl who was delighted with the change.
 
After all, I'm not a big fan of avacadoes myself... are you?

Then Bob got into a fight with himself playing scattagories in the girl's stomach about whether or not avacado was a vegetable. He pushed himself out her belly button. She, not very knowlegdgable about the facts of life, assumed that she had just given birth and he was her son. She wrapped him up in a baby blue blankie and rocked him to sleep to the tune of "Look for the Union Label". He then went on a campaign trail with Al Gore but came home when Al wanted him to grow a beard. He spent many sweet years at home with the Guackamoli girl.
 
That is until Al Gore came back and insisted sullenly that all the votes were not accounted for and that there must be a re-count! Bob made sure that he shaved every day so that Al would maybe leave him alone, but it was of no use. Al took Bob by his Minnie Mouse tie and made him recount all the votes in the U.S. by hand. Bob had no self respect or confidence in himself so he submitted and spent the next ten years counting and re-counting, each time coming up with a new number, but Al was still not satisfied and kept insisting on more re-counts.
 
But Bob did not stand against this Tyranny...so he got up and burned all the votes becasue of re counting them so many times!
 
Again Bob was arrested for being named Bob. He was hung up by his toes and forced to recite the Raven... He spent the rest of the day shouting "NEVERMORE!!!"
 
While Bob was hanging upside down, a big black Raven flew up to him and perched on a tree branch. The Raven cocked it's head as though trying to look at Bob rightside up and said, "Meow!!!!!!!!"
 
Then his contact fail out and the rubber bands on his braces popped off... it just wasn't his day.

The raven then bit him...
 
...on his rear and WOULDN'T LET GO!!!!!!! He just hung on and hung on, and after Bob was released from his hanging position the raven kept hanging on. Bob had a Raven hanging onto his backside for fifty plus years.
 
Cookies are required to use this site. You must accept them to continue using the site. Learn more…