• Welcome to The Tolkien Forum! Connect with fellow Tolkien enthusiasts and join a community that is over two decades old, and still going strong. We look forward to meeting you.  Register

Continue This Totally Ridiculous Story...

And Tizpora... Tzzipar... Tzipaara... Uh... Mary Anne fed him to her pet aligators for their afternoon tea. At that tea party was a certain gentleman named Klypar who had no idea why he was named what he was named, but it didn't matter as he was named that anyway. This gentleman enjoyed watching the aligator eat dessert so much that he wanted to come back and watch again tomorrow. Tizpora... Tzzipar... Tzipaara... Uh... Mary Anne had to promise to get some more dessert - probably camels from the Sahara Desert of Weirdos.
 
then bob went to college in the "National Terrorists university" and learended how to be a massuse
 
And a masseuse he became but for pigs not humans. So, he massaged pigs all day and dreamed of the Sahara Dessert of m&m's.
 
but 1 pig wouldnt pay Bob. So the pig and Bob engaged in Mud wrestling. But wouldnt ya know it it wasnt actually mud. Is was where they get food for the school cafeteria. So Bob was sent to a middle school cafeteria to serve food.
 
BUT unbeknownst to Bob, yet beknownst by the evil alien principal of this school, the indigestion wasn't REALLY indigestion, but the pain caused by thousands of alien larvae eating up the children's intestines.
 
But the principal blamed it all on Bob, and Bob was arrested for the discomfort of about 2000 some children. He was taken to court and forced to eat alien larvae from the new totalitarian alien government which was ruled by ants.
 
The ants covered him in formic acid and used him as a bongo drum. They then held him up Lion King style and threw him in a pot of molassus and potatoes. The Alligators swam towards him, their tails thrashing like pendelums... Tick tock.
 
said the clock in his bedroom, and bob woke up, snuggley and warm, and with his bunny slipers beside his bed
 
As he slid his toasty toes into his bunny slippers the slippers turned on him and bit his big toes off with their rabid bunny teeth!
 
from that he screamed "die you idioteic bunny slippers" till his voice no longer functoned
 
He picked up a yellow parasol from the corner of the room and brandished it like a flaming sword. "Elendil!" he yelled as he leaped from the bed and pounced on the offending bunny slippers, stabbing all the while with the dull plastic knob of his parasol.
 
As he was doing this he happened to catch sight of a semi out side his window. However it was the cab of the truck minus the trailer. It had no trailer and he could not help but wonder... Where is that trailer? Did it leave it somewhere? What if it was carrying a load of live chickens? What if those chickens are out there somewhere, abandoned, and he doens't even know it... What if he thinkns they are still back there? What if they enter a small rural community and take it over? What if the rural communities inhabitants leave for fear of the chickens? What if they stay there and develop great technology, living off the frozen TV dinners in the abandoned Safeway? What if they run out of food and must branch out to new horizons... ??? What if they take over Washington state? What if the go to Seattle and climb to the top of the Space Needle? What if once on the top they decide to try and fly? What if, because they are chickens, they can't fly? What if they all land in a heep and only the last few survive? What if the resistance, led by weasels, then attacks? What if they must steal a car and flee south? What if they must swim the Columbia river and hide in a trailer...? What if the truck guy then realizes they're missing and goes back to look for them? What if he finds them and hooks back on the trailer and continues on his way? Would we ever know how this had happened and how the Chicken's love for flying and a weak weasel resistance had saved the world???
 
And then Bob's thought's snapped back to present and the piercing pain in his right kneecap where one of the bunny slippers had just bitter off half of his knee. Then an awesome EEEEEWWWWWWWW was heard from the audience...........audience? What audience?...........the walls of Bob's bedroom suddenly start to move to releal a live audience and the fact that Bob is the star of his own TV show. "WOW" bob calls out " i always wanted to be just like Truman!!!!!!!!" But suddenly Jim Carey starts running towards bob with a machetti yelling "YOU COPY CAT YOU STOLE MY SHOW". And then suddenly in a cloud of smoke, Puff The Magic Dragon appears to save Bob from his near death encounter (this guy has to get a less stressful life! Geez!!)........
 
And then Bob's mind roams back to the thoughts of the helpless chickens on the lonely Space Needle and he abandons his bunny slipper battle and the strangely morphed bedroom and hikes to the airport, despite his half-eaten kneecap and missing toes.
He hops a plane and 16 hours later arrives in Seattle, where he is greeted at the airport by....
 
the weasel resistance who immediately identify him to be an enemy...

ooc: my last post being so long I can afford a short one now.
 
and the weasles attacked bob. So bob drew his papaer towel roll and started to fight the weasles in melee combat. the fight had gotten so good that the weasles and bob were sucked into the video game super smash bros melee.
 
Then the power went out and Bob was all alone, converted into digital form, on a back up file. He sat there waiting for the power to go back on.
 
But little did the audience know, a tiny girl name Fleur Des Jardins was still in the auditorium.

She picked up a microphone and started to sing, 'Manic Monday' over the loudspeaker!
 
You must log in or register to reply here.

Share this page

Similar threads

Fanfic The Sculpture and the Willow
Replies
0
Views
731
Server Room Gremlin
Fanfic One Man In The Shadows
Replies
8
Views
3K
Tyelkormo the Fair
Fanfic One Life For The Sake of The Rest
Replies
2
Views
1K
Tyelkormo the Fair
The Eyes of Tolkien
2
Replies
38
Views
7K
Eljorahir
Fanfic And You Made My Words Take Flight
Replies
0
Views
812
Tyelkormo the Fair
Menu
Log in
Register
Cookies are required to use this site. You must accept them to continue using the site. Learn more…