• Welcome to The Tolkien Forum! Connect with fellow Tolkien enthusiasts and join a community that is over two decades old, and still going strong. We look forward to meeting you.  Register

Continue This Totally Ridiculous Story...

No that's a lie! It was the parrots! It was all their fault! It wasn't my fault! It was the parrots!
 
It's max beallysux latest show! Will it flop or will it go? The cast is taking its final bow here comes the audience now, the doors are open they're on their way lets here what they have to say?!

He's done it again, he's done it again, max beallysux has done it again! You can't believe it, you cant concieve it it's the worst show in town! We couldn't leave faster, what a disasteor, that slimy, sleezy max beallysux...What a bum!
 
And then Bob went to sit down to a game of Trivial Pursuit with a gorgeous, green eyed American.
And as they were playing the American girl's sister, who has brown eyes and is far more beautiful than Sigourney Weaver, made an offhand comment about how British men don't brush their teeth.
At which point the American girl with the green eyes and the outraged tongue defiantly stood up for British men everywhere.
And when said girl's British boyfriend came to the states for the holidays he brought the brown eyed girl a toothbrush as a present and NOT the neck monkey that had been previously requested.

And Bob, who observed this all smiled and said, "Isn't love grand?" before he drank an entire bottle of Sweet Vermouth and a bucket full of Merschino Cherry juice.

And when he woke up he was hanging upside from the monkey bars, exposing his mysteriously pierced navel to a gaggle of primary school children (all female) in ridiculously prim uniforms.

At 3 am GMT.
 
"This is highly irregular," swallowed the school mistress. She then went to take some cortazon and bath in oil extracted from the leaves of poison oak. She had always preformed this ritual every night before watching Enterprise. Before Enterprise was on she'd watched Voyager and Before Voyager was on she'd watched Generations. Before Generations she had watched the origenal series, but she never watched Deep Space Nine? Do you know why she never watched Deep Space Nine? Because there was a trill in her stomach. Yes, a nasty trill who didn't like DSN.
Then Benjamin Sisco took a lightsaber and broke her tv in half and Dax emerged from the faucet.
 
And to rather spoil the mood of things, Sisco announced, "Bob, I am your father".
 
Right before he was explained away by Benjamin Bratt and disappeared in a puff of logic.

And Benjamin Bratt the Oh-So-Sexy turned to Sandra Bullock, who began to chime "You looove me, you want to kiiiiiiss me, you think I'm goooorgeous..."

And then Plate Tectonics Geek retired from Happily Ever After for a brief moment to slap Sandra with a board, "Take that, Julia Roberts!" he yelled. "It's not 'looove' it's 'lurve'" and then he went back to his blissful existence with Wonks which had by now moved from England to somehwere near a tropical volcano on a Volcano Monitoring/Astronomical Observatory station.
 
However, Bob, who had never known his real father due to a tragic traffic accident involving a large number of chickens and an armored car, was pleased as punch. He immediately insisted that Sisco take him to a baseball game and buy him some peanuts and cracker jacks.
 
Which was, sadly, impossible seeing as Benjamin Bratt had explained Sisco away in a puff of logic only moments before.
 
Whilst at the baseball game, Bob met his old friend Buzz Lightyear. The two mischief-makers snuck off and hid behind a computer after stealing some candy floss. Bob inadvertantly dropped his candy floss on the computer and it exploded. The next thing they knew, they were being asked if they wanted drinks by a waiter. It turned out they had rather ended up in The Restaurant At The End Of The Universe, where they then bumped into a small furry animal from Alpha-Centauri.
 
Which, sadly, didn't happen BECAUSE SISCO WAS EXPLAINED AWAY IN A PUFF OF LOGIC BY BENJAMIN BRATT FOUR POSTS AGO!!!
 
NO YOU CANNOT KILL THE SISCO! YOU CANNOT! YOU CANNOT! YOU CANNOT!
 
And I think you may have a point there. It seems my ever so slightly HHG post was at the same time as your previous one. Otherwise that error would never have come so far. But I think for the flow of the story, we could kinda forget Sisco dissapeared?

Or, here's a better one. Benjamin Bratt and Sandra Bullock adopted Bob as their stable-boy and then took him to a baseball game. There, no problem at all.

EDIT: Let's all stop posting at the same time... or something! I was reffering to Wonks' last post, then HLGStrider comes and posts when I'm typing. No! I'm getting confused...
 
... but because of double overlapping posting Bob's life split into three different existances... one of which went to the moon to go dancing with Ben and Sandra while the other caught a fly ball and was attacked by screaming Mark Macguire fans.
 
And then Wonks, Elgee, and Craig all disappeared in a puff of logic, leaving Sandra and Benjamin alone to snog on the steps of the Federal Building.
 
As a result of this, Bob dedicated a long time to finding the location of Wonks, Elgee and Craig after they dissapeared. In the end, he concluded that they were infact in Wales.
 
But before anything drastic could happen to Wonks, Plate Tectonics Geek again sprang forth from his happy little observatory in tropics to rescue her and whisk her back to paradise.
 
Elgee went outside and watched the monkeys. Then Inspector Clousou came up and asked "Have you seen a minkee? It had a massage for you."
 
At which point Elgee replied "Great!!" And she stripped down, covered herself with a towell, and lay face down on a conviently located massage table.

"Bring it on!" she called.
 
At this Clousou looked confused and walked off into the sunset, mumbling about finding the Phantom.
 
You must log in or register to reply here.

Share this page

Similar threads

Fanfic The Sculpture and the Willow
Replies
0
Views
733
Server Room Gremlin
Fanfic One Man In The Shadows
Replies
8
Views
3K
Tyelkormo the Fair
Fanfic One Life For The Sake of The Rest
Replies
2
Views
1K
Tyelkormo the Fair
The Eyes of Tolkien
2
Replies
38
Views
7K
Eljorahir
Fanfic And You Made My Words Take Flight
Replies
0
Views
812
Tyelkormo the Fair
Menu
Log in
Register
Cookies are required to use this site. You must accept them to continue using the site. Learn more…