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👁️Sauron Sues Frodo Baggins

Alcuin

of Zarkanya
Joined
Mar 9, 2005
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Frodo Baggins convicted of trespass and trespass to chattel and terrorist destruction to property by prosecutors in Mordor courts. Sauron sues [in separate civil action] for return of ring ....

In the related civil action, Sauron’s attorney (the Mouth of Sauron) puts forward character witnesses against F Baggins alleging (absent objection) that when a young adult, Mr F Baggins stole mushrooms from a stout yeoman farmer from the midlands.

Further character witnesses assert that Frodo poorly treated: [1] his servant, eg, Smeagol in a confrontation with foreign terrorists in West Mordor, ultimately leading to Smeagol[’]s death, & [2] migrant workers invited to the Shire by the legitimate political authorities (Sharkey etc).

Frodo has yet to open his case. It is expected that he will not deny these facts, & will instead argue that the incidents involving mushrooms & migrants have nothing to do with the political conflict in the south. Smeagol’s death was an unfortunate suicide or casualty of war.

No doubt the broadsheets will characterise these defences as overbroad or heartless or un-Shire-like.

(Source: https://reformclub.blogspot.com/2019/09/mccabe-trump-and-frodo-baggins.html])

(I’m supposed to be working…)
 
And I can immediately picture someone perfect for the role of Mouth of Sauron: Robert Duvall in his role of Tom Hagen, adopted son and Mob Lawyer for the Corleone Family in the first two "Godfather" movies (I was lucky to get a 4-DVD set of the 2008 "The Coppola Restauration" - 2009 for the German synchronization, but with the original English version also selectable -, the three films plus a bonus material disc - boy, "appendices" have become all the rage since LoTR! ;) ).
And of course a kind of avatar for the thousands, if not millions of his real-life counterparts (many of them working for big companies, filthy-rich parasites and shady politicians).
 

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