The other joke and meme thread

[Erestor Arcamen]

Use this thread for jokes and memes that do NOT relate to Tolkien.

Keep things appropriate or we'll have to sick Grond on you

 

[Erestor Arcamen]

 

[Deimos]

 

[Erestor Arcamen]

 

[Squint-eyed Southerner]

Trick for treat.

 

[Deimos]

 

[Erestor Arcamen]

 

[Deimos]

 

[Erestor Arcamen]

 

[Server Room Gremlin]

 

[Squint-eyed Southerner]

 

[Erestor Arcamen]

 

[Radaghast]

 

[Deimos]

 

[Squint-eyed Southerner]

"It's Halloween. Come on, look at it."
"Nope. I don't wanna."

 

[Radaghast]

Who/what is she supposed to be, Bathead-Woman?

 

[Deimos]

A Hallowe’en Story

One windy, rainy night a solitary man was walking home, down a dark, deserted street that went near the local cemetery.
As he passed the gates, he heard a bump in the darkness. Not daring to look back, he quickened his pace.
But the bumping noise continued behind him.

Catching his breath, he stopped and turned to see what it was.
Coming down the road was a coffin, standing on end, bumping from side to side - Bump! Bump! Bump!

Frightened nearly out of his wits, the man turned and hurried into the driving rain
. Behind him, the coffin came faster - BUMP! BUMP! BUMP!

He turned the corner onto his street, and ran up the walkway to his home, the coffin close on his heels. BUMP! BUMP! BUMP!

The terrified man dashed into his house and sprinted up the stairs two steps at a time, but the coffin crashed through the front door and followed him up the stairway! BUMP! CLOMP! BUMP! CLOMP!

As he gasped for breath, the man darted into the bathroom, slamming and locking the door.
The coffin threw itself against the door, ONCE! TWICE! and the door splintered and burst asunder! BUMP! BUMP! CRASH!

The coffin lurched menacingly forward! Sobbing hysterically the man backed against the wash basin, and in desperation grabbed the nearest object at hand, a bottle of Vick’s Nyquil, and hurled it at the coffin!
The bottle shattered against the ancient, worm-eaten wood, glass shards and liquid flying everywhere!
And then....and then...the coffin stopped.

 

[Starbrow]

A Hallowe’en Story

One windy, rainy night a solitary man was walking home, down a dark, deserted street that went near the local cemetery.
As he passed the gates, he heard a bump in the darkness. Not daring to look back, he quickened his pace.
But the bumping noise continued behind him.

Catching his breath, he stopped and turned to see what it was.
Coming down the road was a coffin, standing on end, bumping from side to side - Bump! Bump! Bump!

Frightened nearly out of his wits, the man turned and hurried into the driving rain
. Behind him, the coffin came faster - BUMP! BUMP! BUMP!

He turned the corner onto his street, and ran up the walkway to his home, the coffin close on his heels. BUMP! BUMP! BUMP!

The terrified man dashed into his house and sprinted up the stairs two steps at a time, but the coffin crashed through the front door and followed him up the stairway! BUMP! CLOMP! BUMP! CLOMP!

As he gasped for breath, the man darted into the bathroom, slamming and locking the door.
The coffin threw itself against the door, ONCE! TWICE! and the door splintered and burst asunder! BUMP! BUMP! CRASH!

The coffin lurched menacingly forward! Sobbing hysterically the man backed against the wash basin, and in desperation grabbed the nearest object at hand, a bottle of Vick’s Nyquil, and hurled it at the coffin!
The bottle shattered against the ancient, worm-eaten wood, glass shards and liquid flying everywhere!
And then....and then...the coffin stopped.

An oldie but a goodie.

 

[Deimos]

An oldie but a goodie.

I wonder how old it is? I first read it about 30 years ago.
Also I've read it in several places where it was just such a bloated "story" (like 2 pages), that it ceased to be anything other than ,"Let's get to the end already", and when you got there it wasn't a "punchline", just a meh, OK, cute pun.
My version has been heavily edited and condensed. it is 3/4 of a page and that is still with spacing.
"Brevity is the soul of wit."

 

[Maedhros_Nelyafinwë]

Curufin, Fëanor and eventually Celebrimbor?

 

[Squint-eyed Southerner]

Speaking of cemeteries, "harsh".😳