Continue This Totally Ridiculous Story...

[Wonko The Sane]

Or would have, if he hadn't burst his seams and exploded from heat exhuastion and severe constipation.

 

[BlackCaptain]

Then they went to Christopher Robbinson who fixed him right up

 

[Wonko The Sane]

And then slashed Fred in the throat.

Christopher Robin was a bit schizophrenic and more than a little dangerous.

 

[HLGStrider]

Not as dangerous as Tigger who had married an Elf and was ruling Mirkwood.

 

[Turin]

He found plenty of trees to pogo over, but as he was clearing one he go caught in quick sand which was...

 

[HLGStrider]

jelly coated.

The little jellyfish swam about Tigger who begged for mercy but received only government compensation.

 

[Turin]

And social security, which was enough to pay the jellyfish for his freedom.

 

[HLGStrider]

but it wasn't enough to pay off Bob to whom he owed a considerable about of money for bets taken on the Arts and Crafts Faire and Cook Out annual Hemp Braiding and Hot Dog Eating contest.

So, there was only one alternative. . .MURDER!

 

[Wonko The Sane]

Which he gladly called on Christopher Robin to do for him.

And Christopher Robin SLASHED Bob down for the second time, and then slashed Tigger too for good measure.

Then he skipped off to keep his lunch date with Piglet. Where, aftewards, he planned to slash him too.

 

[HLGStrider]

Everyone was dead. . .but that did not stop the gnats from inviting them all to their biannual spring fling get together at the Farmers Market. It would be so much fun that year!

 

[Valdarmyr]

and once they got to the Farmers Market, they found that everyone was SLASHING PRICES! Even that guy in the booth where he's selling knives, and he uses them to cut thin slices of tomato, next he says, "you can even use them to slice a gnat in mid-air," and then he cuts a tin can in half, and just like Boromir, he says, "Still sharp!" AHA HA HA HA HA HA HAAAAA!!! eh-hem.

 

[Turin]

But the knives were not sharp, in fact they were incredibly dull and crooked. So the saleman tryed to get into the book of world records by shaving the most beards in...

 

[HLGStrider]

three-quarter time. . .which of course meant he was waltzing...Have you ever seen a waltzing knife sellsman turned barber before?

Neither had Christopher Robin, and he was very displeased.

 

[Valdarmyr]

So the barber sat Christopher Robin down in the barber's chair and gave him a nice Mohawk, which Pooh and all his friends giggled at endlessly. Then the barber said, "I'm not really a man, I'm a woman, Waltzing Matilda is my name, and I'm Bob's long-lost high school sweetheart!"

 

[Feanorian]

but the principal came on to the scene and said: LETS DANCE!!

 

[HLGStrider]

They danced with an Elephant wearing Spandex to the tune of Mary Had a Little Lamb. Then Mary burst in and yelled out "BUT I DON'T HAVE LITTLE LAMB! I HAVE A DOBERMAN!"

The doberman eyed the elephant and licked his lips. Bob felt nervous.

 

[Marah Seph]

Bob hid behind Christopher Robin for good measure.

 

[HLGStrider]

The measure was exactly four inches and three centimeters.

The Inch Worm measured it, and Bob always trusted inch worms. . .

Unfortunately, he had made a mistake and this was a centimeter worm. They are nasty, lying worms! Because of this Bob was sentenced to hard labor in Zimbabwe.

That's where he met Cruella D'Vil.

 

[Valdarmyr]

She was the warden, and her influence rubbed off on him...he ended up with about 100 spots, just like a Dalmation. Man, that dude looked funny!

 

[Marah Seph]

Cruella found this extremely attractive and wanted to make a coat out of him. She chased him around the camp for a short distance before she fell.