• Welcome to The Tolkien Forum! Connect with fellow Tolkien enthusiasts and join a community that is over two decades old, and still going strong. We look forward to meeting you.  Register

Continue This Totally Ridiculous Story...

"You silly boy!" Exclaimed Rex harrison, "We shall make a suflee out of you!"
 
" You don't like the idea of suflee, well we can fix that. Bobburgers!" Rex harrison said slicing up bob
 
That is when Bob woke up screaming in the middle of Grand Central Station wearing a kimno, a flowered bonnet, and a Bill Clinton mask.

Jim Carry ran out of the crowd yelling, "COHNAN! IT'S YOU!"
 
Somewhere in the back of the audience the sound of retching could be heard. Bob paused his performance, put his hands on his hips, and stared with distate at the person throwing up. "Well what would you prefer, Whitney Houston?" he asked.

"Actually, yes," the barfing person replied.

And Bob turned into Whitney Houston.

And the bunny rabbits screamed.
 
Through the screaming of the rabbits a faint rumbling could be heard and the ceiling began to shake. Then through it burst two forces of immense power. The Rubber Duckie of Westmarch as locked in combat with the Dark Duckie of Mordor.
 
The Rubber Duckie of Westmarch, also known as RDW, also known as the only son of Bob, grappled with his arch nemisis, the Dark Duckie of Mordor, also known as DD. They fought, and fought, and squeaked like the rubber duckies they are.

THEN, DD pulled out the Ring of Power! And RDW quaked and trembled! But RDW was too cute and suave and savvy and overall cool to be defeated by this dude, so he drew his sword all fancy-like, and all the ladies swooned and oohed and aaahd. RDW smirked at DD, cause his popularity with the ladies was a one-up against his enemy.
 
The DD squeaked angrily in Ducky speak. He flapped around huffily trying to get noticed by the ladies. With a great squeak he summoned his own admirers. They were legions of Legolas look alikes. Naturally the ladies quickly left RDW and chased off after these as they were all fangirls. The DD then drew a mace of great size and started swinging at the RDW squeaking in a squeak not squeaked by the good denizens of the world.
 
RDW covered his ears at the horrible evil squeaks. But he was determined to defeat his foe, just like every other classic hero dude. He pulled fuzzy pink earmuffs out of his pocket (yes, this duck wears clothes. What, you think I'm going to put a naked someone on this forum?) and put them on. Then, he thrust his sword out, blocking the mace's blows. He fought with DD sword vs. mace for a while, until RDW got sick of it and flapped behind DD. RDW dropped his sword, picked up DD, and threw him off the slope of Mount Doom (where they had been fighting). Not the slope that led to the fire, cause RDW hated the smell of burning feathers. Instead of being incinerated, DD tumbled off the mountian, hitting every nastily sharp rock on the way down. "Oof! Eef! Ahf! Ouch! @#@#$!" DD squeaked.
 
Unfortunatly for RDW the DD was covered in armor (no hes not naked either you perverts ) and was made of rubber so going down rocks didn't hurt him much. The DD then started picking up these sharp nasty rocks as he was hitting them on the way down. When he finally came to a rest he began throwing these rocks back up at RDW. Some villagers saw what he was doing and joined him as everyone in the world loves a good stoning. They were also all exceptionally strong villagers so they too were able to get their rocks all the way up the mountain.
 
"Gyaaaaah!" RDW squeaked/shouted, throwing his wings/arms up to cover his face/beak. He stumbled backwards a step, tried to block the rocks, lost his balance, and fell into the fires of Mount Doom. Since he was there before, he didn't incinerate, but sat down and played poker with Gollum. Again. But this time, RDW didn't have to wait for his lawyer to call him back, for he knew his lawyer's number. His lawyer was none other than--Indiana Jones! RDW played a few games of poker just to remember old times, then called up ol' Indy.

"Hello?" Indy answered the phone.

"Yo, Indy my homie, wass up?" RDW said in his best gangster voice.

"Hey dude," Indy said in his best surfer voice. "How's it hangin'?"

"Not very well, thank you," said RDW, switching over to a French accent.

"Well, how sad for you," said Indy, switching over to a British accent.

"Get me out of here, man! It's like, game over man, game over!" said RDW, trying to imitate that one dude from Aliens.

"Whoa, like, chill, dude," said Indy, trying to imatate Chong. "Like, just be groovy. I'll get you out, man."

They hung up.

And Indy's hovercraft came to rescue RDW and Gollum.
 
The DD watched in disdain as Indiana Jones came to rescue RDW. So the DD called up his old allies to come and combat them. In the sky above Indiana Jones shouted in horror as the Nazimobile hover craft started chasing his.
 
COMING UP NEXT: A CAR CHASE!

It was time for some fancy driving. "Buckle your seatbelts back there!" shouted Indy as he took the helm. Gollum didn't seem to hear, for he just ran around screaming in panic and running into walls. RDW wisely strapped himself into a seat and held on for dear life.

Indy slammed his foot on the accelerater. The Nazimoblie started fireing it's laser cannons. Gollum shrieked, "We're going to die, precious! Die! DIEEEEEE--"

*beeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeep*

We interupt this broadcast for a broadcast of the emergency broadcast system. Have a nice day!

*beeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeep*

*slam*

The TV falls over and shatters, and the world gasps as they see who has caused the distruction. It is....
 
Bob, of course.

He had spent the last three months working his new job with the American Kennel Club. He was a spot counter in the dalmation section. As you may or may not know, the premium amount of spots for a thourough bred dalmation is 219. Bob was required to count the spots on the dalmations and make sure they had 219. However, one day he was counting the spots on Madame Floo-floo's dog, Dow Jones, the world's most valuable dalmation, and he came up with 220! He announced it to the horror of the Club.

Dow Jones was disqualified and Madame Floo-floo was crying and then Bob said, "Oh wait, that's an ink spot. . ."

So Bob was thrown from the top of the Eiffle tower and had his right ear fed to Dow Jones.

Bob's scream echoed about the world while the chaos caused by Dow Jones caused the problems above mentioned.
 
Bob then Decided to leave Spot counting forever, and Made to Journey the the McDonalds Temple deep in the New York Jungle of twisted Iron.
 
But his walkman was up too loud and it scared away all the spawning salmon! He was attacked by environmentalists wearing scuba geer.
 
which if you didn't know is a rather scary site as the notorious Hob said to Jolene,

"So Jolene, if you havent seen a enviromentalist in scuba gear you are totally lucky. That site is so damn scary!"

"Really Hob? I mean I've seen nomal men in scuba gear before and its not that scary. What we're they carrying, weapons?"

Hob cowerd and cried at the thought of the weaponry,

" What is it Hob?"

"They carry plastic harpoons!" Hob said rising to face fear,

"And I will conquer that fear, I will face those terrorists!" Jolene just nodded and was tired of listening to Hob speak.

So Hob went to his brother Bob (as in the Bob who is the main part in our story who was still haveing problems with Indiana jones as his lawyer and it just so happend that Indy was also afraid of enviromentalists with scuba gear and plastic harpoons and both hob and indy cowerd and cried.
 
"Whimps," sniffed a supercillious space cat named Arod as he continued on his way towards Albequerque. . .Bob and Hob and Indy ducked down the hole the space cat had came out of and started to run for it. They ran and ran until they came to the home of a family of squirrels. . .hungry squirrels. . .man eating squirrels.
 
indy yelled,

"What are we going to do?"

" Your the one who always gets in trouble you should know what your doing?" Bob yelled to indy.

"come on thats scripted!"
 
You must log in or register to reply here.

Share this page

Similar threads

Fanfic The Sculpture and the Willow
Replies
0
Views
733
Server Room Gremlin
Fanfic One Man In The Shadows
Replies
8
Views
3K
Tyelkormo the Fair
Fanfic One Life For The Sake of The Rest
Replies
2
Views
1K
Tyelkormo the Fair
The Eyes of Tolkien
2
Replies
38
Views
7K
Eljorahir
Fanfic And You Made My Words Take Flight
Replies
0
Views
812
Tyelkormo the Fair
Menu
Log in
Register
Cookies are required to use this site. You must accept them to continue using the site. Learn more…