• Welcome to The Tolkien Forum! Connect with fellow Tolkien enthusiasts and join a community that is over two decades old, and still going strong. We look forward to meeting you.  Register

Continue This Totally Ridiculous Story...

But all that did was infuriate the crows sister "Darla" and she swooped down and dive bombed Bob... Bob fled for his life into a laundromat. It was there that he bumped head first into Arwen who was starching Glorfindale's long underwear.
 
"You again!" She said with a smirk. Bob peered over her shoulder to see the underwear which were covered with pink hearts and had "Barbie" written across each heart. Bob rolled on the floor and laughed, but Arwen looked at his backside and the crow and said, "I wouldn't be talkin'!"
 
Than, still infatuated with Arwen he said,'Pleas Arwen! I swear I'm not a pervy hobbit fancier, I swear. I really love you. I mean why does an elfprincess as lovely as yourself wind up doing your boyfriends barbie underwear? YOu are fit for much nobler things in life."
 
"I see servants doing this job! YOu need to be out more buying silk nighties, pretty dresses and seeing high class operas"
 
"Oh, operas - yeah I kinda forgot about those." Arwen clears hear throat and begins a rousing Aria from the "The Marriage of Figaro" in an entirely too high of key for her. She parades about the room as though she already has on the beautiful dresses and nighties promised while squeeking in a terrible voice.
 
Bob who because of his passion for Arwen, claps and says,"You belong with me going to fancy restraunts,parties operas and shopping trips. Arwen baby I love you please run away with me!"
 
"Only if you where Barbie underwear!" she tells him. "Any man who does not wear Barbie underwear is not a REAL MAN!"
 
"He's treating you like a servant arwen! why I thought barbie was for girls..sides I wear Hanes (TM). I am more manly, If you dont come with me you'll remain his servant...do you want that arwen..do you trust me." their was a moment of silence...arwen laughted a giddy laugh and said.."Ok, not to be fickle but your so much cuter than that dumb elf"
 
At that Bob fainted into a tub of laundry soap. He then went out and blew his savings account on silk nighties.
 
Arwen, however, already had about 100 silk nighties and was not at all thrilled by the present. "You bought me MORE nighties!!!!!" She screamed. "I am sick of nighties!!!!! I want suspenders!!!!"
 
Bob gave her his suspenders and his pants fell down. He was wearing superman under wear!!!

"SUPER MAN!!!" she gasped. "NOT SUPERMAN!!! DIE EVIL BOB CREATURE!!!"
 
Seizing the Force with both hands, Arwen zapped Bob with lightning. "Sleep, sleep, sleep! Pretty Spiderman underwear!" was all that Bob could say.
 
Then bob woke up..it was merely a dream...and Bob hadn't bought all the silk nighties but saw,"the mirrage of figgaro" which is a mixture of the plot of Aladdin and the music of hte marruge of figgrao
 
As Jasmine is singing "FIGARO FIGARO FIGARO..." the cast of the Barber of Siville attacks, wanting to claim the rights for the word Figaro for Rossini. However, no one can spell Rossini's first name so the court case is dismissed... then the lone ranger comes in and everyone realizes for the first time that his theme really belongs to some Swiss guy who shot an apple off his kid's head... That's when things get nasty...
 
With that a bunch of the free-peoples of Middle Earth come running in and began to throw beer bottles at the Communists. The Communists (who were all guys) suddenly were wearing can-can skirts and fish net tights, but they were now all soaked with beer and dancing on glass.
 
The glass had an intoxicating effect and soon the Communists were sedated. They then took them to the USS Ronald Reagan and made them scrub the decks still in their can can outfits... Things got worse when Sadam Husaine...
 
Where he was captured by John f. Kennedy's ghost, and Richard nixons ghost aided by the gollumites.
 

Today's events

Similar threads

Back
Top