*Four silhouettes appear in the distance, all riding horseback: Maitimo, Fëanor, Aranya, and an unlikely companion: Caranthir.*
*Maitimo looks visibly exhausted, but unharmed. Some of Laurinalotë's flowers remain in his hair. There is a glint of excitement in his eyes despite his weariness.*
*Fëanor and Aranya both look intensely peeved. Perhaps they're not so different after all.*
*Caranthir looks tired, too, and very sheepish.*
Fëanor: Alatulië, all! We have returned, all safe and sound! I'm sure you all are wondering what has happened, but rest assured that no one was hurt. Morifinwë, though, has some explaining to do.
*nudges him to the front of the group*
*Caranthir awkwardly steps forward, his face flushing even redder than usual.* I'm sorry, everyone. I didn't think this would cause such chaos.
Maitimo: That's the key. You didn't
think.
*Caranthir shoots him a look, but continues:* So, as you all know, with my line of work, I get very busy at this time of year doing all the tax work for my kingdom. And I am very, VERY short on competent help. These past two years I had to fire basically my entire team of preparers, even though I was truly desperate for help. So anyway, I know Nelyo is competent and detail-oriented and actually knows how to PROCESS WHAT HE'S READING. Which is more than I can say for the vast majority of the idiots I've hired in the past. So, I wrote to Nelyo, asking him to help me out during the tax season, and he agreed.
*He continues:* Things got busy earlier than expected this year, so I didn't have time to send a letter all the way here and ask Nelyo to come early, so, I sent my favorite pet eagle to come pick him up.
Maitimo: Literally. 😑
Caranthir: He was pretty mad at me when he arrived in my lands, telling me he thought he was getting kidnapped by
Morgoth again and yada yada yada. He had a full on panic attack.
*Aranya holds Maitimo's arm and glares daggers at Moryo.*
Caranthir: I said I was sorry, okay?! How many times do I need to say it? Anyway, once Nelyo calmed down enough to be rational, we agreed to write back here and tell all of you what happened, since he pointed out you would be worried. But... as it turned out, there was a massive problem in the postal system causing all mail to get rerouted to
Doriath.
*cinematic cut to Thingol in Doriath wading through piles and piles of mail, on the phone with the Beleriand postal service* For the fifth time, I'd like to SPEAK TO THE MANAGER!
*another bag of mail falls from the ceiling and showers his head with letters* *he shakes his head in disgust and peels the exact letter from Caranthir off his face*
*he reads it out loud* "Dear Everyone: Maitimo is safe helping me with the tax season and has not been captured. Sincerely, Morifinwë Carnistir." ...That doesn't sound important.
*He puts it in the paper shredder. The paper shredder is overloaded and spews confetti-like paper shreds everywhere. Lúthien is rolling around in it and laughing and trying to make a paper snowman*
Lúthien: Ada! I need glue! Or Mod Podge!
*Thingol sighs long-sufferingly*
*cinematic cut back to the current scene. Caranthir continues:* So, we thought you had all been successfully informed of Nelyo's whereabouts.
Maitimo: Um, I kept pointing out how I found it odd that nobody responded. Not even with "K" or anything.
Caranthir: I don't know, I don't usually respond to every little thing. But anyway, the tax season was long and exhausting but successful. We didn't know there was a problem--
Maitimo:
You didn't know there was a problem--
Caranthir: --until Atar and Aranya showed up, as enraged as though they were storming the gates of
Angband, and I... found out... what a big mess this all was. So, though I've apologized repeatedly to the three of them, I have not apologized yet to all of you, my brothers and
Fingon and various friends, cousins and distant relatives. Will you forgive my communication errors? I'd argue the postal system is in more need of forgiveness than I am, though.
Maitimo: And even though I'm the victim here, I still should have told you guys as soon as I found out I was going to Caranthirland for a while. I've missed you all terribly, and I'm sorry for all the grief and anxiety you must have all suffered.
Fëanor: There is also something else we have to announce. After spending much time with--
*he blinks and does a double take as he realizes there appears to be two of everyone, and a random blonde elleth who looks oddly like Tyelko* What in all Arda-- ARE YOU KIDS CLONING PEOPLE AGAIN?!
