Second-guessing and Misunderstanding Tolkien

[Server Room Gremlin]

Eru gave Olórin an upgrade. Why didn't he do it properly, with a high Tulkas ability? Gandalf could then have stomped right up to Barad-dûr (squashing several thousand Orcs on the way like so many ants), kicked that silly tower over like a sand castle, and drop-kicked Sauron straight into orbit (aka the Void). 🤓

Ah, a vastly better solution, that would have been epic. 🤭

 

[Deimos]

If Tom Bombadil is a superpowered Maia or Ainur like Sauron, why does he chose to look like a little middle-aged fat boy when he could choose to look like a hunky guy instead?

😵

Let's rephrase the question a teensy bit…

If you (the OP) really are of the species "homo sapiens" and are genetically endowed with superior rational faculty, why would you choose to present yourself as a mentally deficient neanderthal when you could present yourself as, oh, maybe a not too dim 8 year-old?

 

[Radaghast]

If Fëanor was released from the Halls of Mandos and sent to help the Council of Elrond, would the Council accept him? How would he be able to help, without having had direct participation on the making of the One Ring?

For that matter what if Eru sent Superman and the Green Lantern???

 

[Deimos]

If Fëanor was released from the Halls of Mandos and sent to help the Council of Elrond, would the Council accept him? How would he be able to help, without having had direct participation on the making of the One Ring?

For that matter what if Eru sent Superman and the Green Lantern???

And let us not forget the very helpful half dozen Ninja bears with plasma cannons.

 

[Squint-eyed Southerner]

I thought the ninjas were sent to Helm's Deep. 🤔

 

[Deimos]

I thought the ninjas were sent to Helm's Deep. 🤔

The original plan was to send them to Mordor with Frodo.

 

[Radaghast]

Perhaps there are enough Ninja Bears to spare.

 

[Radaghast]

Why didn't any of the good-aligned Maiar try to defeat the Balrog before Gandalf came to Khazad-dûm (Moria) with the Fellowship?

 

[Deimos]

Perhaps there are enough Ninja Bears to spare.

As long as you have male and female Ninja Bears you will always have enough to spare.

(And if you know your Kipling it's the female Ninja Bears that will really clean your clock; you won't know what hit you 😬)

 

[Radaghast]

Why didn't the leaders at the Council of Elrond consider sending all of the armies of good to Minas Tirith for a decisive battle against Sauron?

 

[Radaghast]

How would the ring affect Tom Bombadil if he had had it for longer? Is there a chance that after wearing it for a long time, he could have also become corrupted?

 

[Deimos]

Second-guessing and Misunderstanding Tolkien (or the 'Bonkers Questions and Answers' thread)​

Answers to any and all questions that will ever be asked. No more endless explanations, lost sleep, face-palms, head banging, etc

Q: Why didn't [insert name] do [insert action/activity] to/for [whatever reason]?
A: Because he didn't.

Q: What if [insert name] had done [something else] instead of [what he actually did]?
A: Well, he didn't .

Q:Why is [character name] like this [insert description] and not like that [insert a different description]?
A: Because he isn't.

Or the "one-size-fits-all-answer": Tolkien wrote it the way he did because he wanted it that way, and and if had wanted anything different than the way he wrote it he would have written it differently.

 

[Radaghast]

Once Sauron realised that Gandalf was a fellow Maiar disguised as an old man on a quest to incite resistance, why didn’t it make sense for the Valar to alter his body from an old man into to a youthful warrior with athletic prowess?

 

[Erestor Arcamen]

 

[Radaghast]

When Sauraman's name literally tells you he is "Sauron's man", how come nobody spotted he was evil earlier?

 

[Squint-eyed Southerner]

Which reminds me: why didn't they get Tom to blow up the Ring? He's got "Bomb" right in his name!

 

[Radaghast]

Which reminds me: why didn't they get Tom to blow up the Ring? He's got "Bomb" right in his name!

"Since Tom Bombadil sang, Tom Bom, jolly Tom, Tom Bombadillo, does that mean he's part bomb, part armadillo?"

 

[Squint-eyed Southerner]

I thought he was a Derry doll . . .🤔

 

[Radaghast]

Heck, what isn't he these days?

 

[Squint-eyed Southerner]

There's a lengthy essay somewhere "proving" he's actually the Archangel Michael.