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Continue This Totally Ridiculous Story...

Bob, not knowing who Malvolio and Tybalt were, having never been forced to read Romeo & Juliet, ran away from all lifes problems.

He eventually found himself on the top of a double decker bus in the rain, in the middle of Wolverhampton. He was wearing a kilt and holding a pink umbrella, asking people if they could tell him how to get to Islington.

People pretended to ignore him.
 
Till he ran into Marius who told him an inspiring speech:

My brother, come join me in our fight for democracy! You should see the injustices the laborers in the third estate are forced to suffer! No food! No money! something must be done. And my brother you and me are the ones to show the world the French Son's of Liberty, Will not back down. Our daughters of liberty are outstandingly loyal and will not back down. Let us show to these tyrants France WILL be free!
 
Except France was already free, and was the greatest superpower in the world.

So, Bob decided to leave the Earth once again, via Le Francinator 3000, because in his heart he didnt really like the French since they were superior to him in every way.
 
"and the only problem was half of your first statement was true," said a world war two historian
 
And as Bob was walking down the streets of Marseille, talking with Le Papet and Ugolin Soubeyran, he accidentally fell into a man hole. This hole turned out to be a time portal!

When Bob awoke he was in the first decade of the 19th century, just as the British Army was tearing apart the Napoleonic Empire
 
So he went back to sleep and woke up in ancient Greece just as Ageus was jumping off a cliff because his idiot son forgot to take down the black sail and put up the white sail. He then was eaten by the minituar because the idiot son also forgot to finish the job or close the door to the laberynth behind him.
 
"Oooo," said Bob, "I like this place." And Bob began to stroll around the grove of trees and breathe in the fresh air. But just then a troop of orcs burst out of the bushes and pointed their ugly little sword thingies at him.

"I knew I should've taken that Tae-Kwan-Do(sp?) class in third grade!"
 
Bob got out his Pom-poms and cheered them on... all from inside the Minituar's stomach. Finally the Minituar got sick of this and swallowed the Fellowship. Once Aragorn had joined Bob down in the depths of the half man half bull he noticed something.
"Hey! You aren't Frodo. You aren't even a Hobbit!" Aragorn and Legolas beat up on Bob while Gimli played Chess with a stomach flu who happened to be in there.
 
Gimli roared in anger as the stomach flu beat him, he threw the chess board at Bob. Then the beating was silenced by the singing of Carlotta. The five (including stomach flu) watched her preform "faust", than after a certain line, the songstress made an excruciating co-ack
 
The chess pieces rose up and attacked Carlotta... beautiful Carlotta, Tragic Carlotta... the girl who jumped off the church tower in Vertigo was named Carlotta. Then her ancestor did the same thing... or did she?

CAN JAMES STEWART SOLVE THE MYSTERY IN TIME? Why doesn't he just marry the pretty blonde with glasses?
 
Then Romeo proposed to Arwen and when she refused because she was still waiting for her true love he bought her a pair of silk pajamas... which won her heart and Aragorn had to marry Juliet who was 13 and everyone knows that Aragorn was almost 90... so it didn't last long.
 
Romeo jumped off a bridge just to give things a tragic flavor, but he landed on Bob who was punting on the Thames.
 
But the thames had been turned to radioactive sludge due to French nuclear missles, which they only had four of. finally Bob realized that everything wrong with the world was because of the french. There stupid French bread, there stupid French films, and there stupid radio tower that they forgot to pull down and made into a tourist trap. Why does the world tolerate the insolate and selfish French? Who knows. But Bob decided to do something about it, so he met up with God and pointed out his mistake in creating the French, so God reloacated everyone on earth except the french to another more buetiful planet. Then he caused the earths core to detonate, completely destroying all the French people in a massive inferno. ( No offense to the French intended )
 
Gosh... it would've been a lot better if the new planet didn't have a Helium atmosphere... now everybody had squeeky voices...
 
but since life is a dream half of the people died from laughing at eachother
 
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