david_wendelken
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Oh, sorry. Was not at all the intent.reading some of the posts here, to me, have a 'discouraging' vibe to them.
If not everyone is interested in detailed information about word choice and sentence structure, that's fine, but at the end of the day it's up to all of us to decide what we want to spend our time reading and engaging with.
This post is ‘a mouthful’ and provides a great deal of stuff good for us to know we should consider as we develop our work(s).Any ideas?
I need some advice.
The pretext behind the books I'm writing is that they are translations of historical documents, much like LOTR is a translation of The Red Book of Westmarch plus some scholarly notes in the appendices. Except, instead of being one document by one hand, it's a collection of documents by a number of hands, gathered by a 3 different historians separated from one another by a thousand or more years, building on the work of their predecessors. Some of those documents are diaries, official records, letters, transcriptions of stories told (i.e, interviews), tales, songs, poems, etc. In addition, the modern editor of the work (i.e. me) add occasional explanatory marginalia just like they did in medieval times.
Chapter Headings, footnotes and context thru a clear point of view help the reader understand the transition from one major document to another.
I have one font I use for "my" comments. It's a very modern typeface, Calibri.
I have one font I use for text from the translated documents. It's a cross between an Irish uncial font and a more modern typeface, Berenika. It gives the illusion of it being a medieval manuscript but has the readability of modern typefaces. I'm quite happy with it. It's naturally a tad bigger than Calibri for the same point size.
If I leave a word in the original language (other than names of people, places or things that any vaguely attentive Tolkien fan would know), I italicize it. It makes it stand out a bit but not overly so. I use this same font for original language words even if embedded in modern commentary, but I downsize it to match Calibri when I do that.
Chapter headings are in full uncial font, called uncial.
If I want to emphasize a word or part thereof in someone's conversation, I bold it.
Occasionally, someone in the story reads another document, such as a letter. If I want that document to be read in full by the reader, I indent the text of the document on the left and leave the right margin the same.
All the above worked great for Volume II in my 3 book series.
I have a few issues in Volume I that I'm not sure how to handle.
#1)
Sometimes I want to interleave portions of several of the historical documents because it makes it easier for the reader to follow the story. (Much like courtroom dramas do, they present the testimony in order of building the scenario for the viewer/reader, not the order in which it might actually have been given. I developed a few graphic elements, like a decorated bar of harps below, to act as a divider between the interleaved documents. I think that's working ok, but wouldn't mind a better solution. Any ideas?View attachment 26267
#2)
Some of the interleaved documents are dream sequences as told to someone and recorded by them. I would like some visual signifier that this was a dream.
Any ideas? I haven't found a font that seems to fit.
#3)
One of the translated tales was historically in verse but has been translated into prose. In the original tale, there were two different verse forms interleaved within it. One verse form was the traditional narrator's telling of the tale and the other verse form was a participant's internal dialog in their own mind. When this was just a short story, I just picked one font for one format and another font for another. But will all that's going on, I'm not sure that will work. Plus, of course, the fonts need to be distinct but complementary since they are interleaved within the same paragraph. Any ideas?
Very good examples!A note for you on "Increasing the Power Of the Picture: Catching the "Passive 'and' Conjunction". (Ent's title.)
One of the things we often do is use our favorite conjunction, 'and'. It nicely ties things together. BUT - does it draw the most powerful 'picture' for our readers? I'll offer a couple examples here, so you can be the judge.
1. The scene: Mildred is in the hospital gravely ill, and Myrtle is coming to visit her. (can you tell I'm old by the names??) Our author writes:
.... "Myrtle entered the room quickly and sat down in the chair, and held Mildred's hand." Not really too bad. We can see what's happened. BUT... what about:
... "Myrtle walked into the room quickly, taking hold of Mildred's hand as she sat down in the chair."
Observations in the above:
1. "walking" vs. 'entering' draws a more active picture. We can see how she enters the room better. Both 'entered' and 'walked' are 'action words'... but the one draws a more specific picture into the action.
2. In the first case, Myrtle 'sits down' first, meaning she 'takes care of herself', and then holds Mildred's hand. the "And" is a passive word here, adding nothing, but it connects the prior scene of sitting down to the holding of the hand. Almost as two 'separate' actions.
. In the second case however, Myrtle "takes hold of Mildred's hand..." NOT passive, but active. The 'taking hold' is much more an 'intimate picture' than just saying 'and held'. And we note Myrtle 'takes hold of the hand' AS she sat down, increasing the intensity of her obvious concern for Mildred...also making it one smooth connected action rather than seeming to be two 'separate' actions as in the first case.
Elimination of the two "passive 'ands,'" through changing up the syntax and order in the second case provides a more detailed and intense view of Myrtle's state of mind.
Let's construct another example. A little more subtle perhaps, who knows.
2. The scene: James the killer is holding a knife to Jordan's neck. The police are trying to convince him not to slit Jirdan;s throat.
... "James took the knife from Jordan's neck and threw it on the ground."
... "James withdrew the knife from Jordan's neck, throwing it to the ground."
Observations:
1. Both "took" and "withdrew" give somewhat the same picture... but using 'withdrew' draws a subtly different detail into the picture.
2. the "passive 'and'" in the first case has us looking at 'took' and 'threw' as two possibly actions, while in the second case, the "withdrew/throwing" connection without the 'passive and' draws a little more intensity, as well as seeing it more as one connected action as James finally submits to the coaxing of the police to refrain from carrying out his intentions.
These kinds of subtleties are rampant in our work. We do well as we 'consider every word'.. and I'll move that one step further... 'consider every scene'.
HOW do you want your reader to see Myrtle and James? The little subtleties of their actions speak volumes about their nature and character.
WHAT do you want your reader to see them doing, and in what order? Do you want the reader to see separate actions, or a more 'united' action stemming possibly from a diffrent mental consideration in the moment?
Hoping this helps a bit, I remain:
Ent.
Oh wonderful..! Glad it helped.better insight
Sound like 3 very interesting projects... and while the same dynamics of writing apply, these kinds of works also have a little different need and balance to them.,3) is whimpering in a corner of my hard drive.
For #3 (internal dialog), I just tried using the same font but in subscript format. It's similar enough (i.e., the font's don't clash with one another) but still quite distinct. Most of the text that would be subscripted is usually brief enough that the smaller text doesn't seem to be troublesome.I worked up an excerpt from my writing that covers most of the issues I mentioned. I'm attaching it as a PDF. Ignore all "Reference Not Found" occurrences, that's because I tossed the linked text from the print sampler.
I may have a solution to one of my questions. (It really helps to take the time to explain to others!)
In the preface I had a newspaper article extract. I changed the font to Times New Roman and put it in a shadow box. I think I'll use the shadow box for other documents a character reads, but I think indenting the left hand side would be better than the way I did it in the preface example. Not sure that indenting it on both sides would add any value.
For question #1, I think I should develop a different graphic for each narrator/viewpoint. So, when the viewpoint changes, you know who is telling this portion of the tale right off.
Still not sure what to do with #2 or #3.
EDIT: Forgot to add that I included a sample page that would contain an illustration. Sadly, only the caption exists at the moment.
Made good sense to me.And then the solution popped into my head! What if a third person witnessed this scene, unknown to the two participants. A third person who knew both people well enough to truly understand the full ramifications of what they saw and heard?
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