(A repeat, but I'm rather fond of this one.)
Beorn at The Council of Elrond
Beorn: “I will take
the ring…and
I know the way.
Elrond: “What? Weren’t you listening? No Beorn. We spent all day and finally decided that
Frodo shall be the Ring Bearer.”
Beorn: “Sure, but you didn’t let me speak. I think you don’t realize what I can bring to the table that no one else could possibly come close to.”
Elrond: “Okay, okay Beorn. Please tell us why you should be given this task.”
Beorn: “Because I, Beorn, only of my kind in all of
Middle-earth, if given this task would be… … … ‘The Bear
Ring Bearer’! Hehe, never thought of that, did you smarty pants?”
Elrond: “What in
Utumno is this nonsense you speak? We are not sending a bearing to the Cracks of Doom! We’re sending
the One Ring of Power!”
Beorn: “Oh, no, no, no. I see the confusion. I didn’t say “Bearing Bearer”. I said “Bear Ring Bearer”.
Elrond: “Those sound exactly the same to me.”
Beorn: “Okay, listen closely. What I do not mean: ‘Bearing Bearer’. What I do mean: ‘Bear…Ring…Bearer.’ You do realize I can take the shape of a bear anytime I want, don’t you?”
Elrond: “You can change into a bear?”
Beorn: “oi. Okay…” (
Sam interrupts.)
Samwise: “Ooh ooh ooh. I have it! Frodo will be the Ring Bearer. I will carry him on my back making me the Ring Bearer Bearer. And…wait for it…I will be riding on the back of Beorn making him the Bear Bearer of the Ring Bearer Bearer!!!”
Gimli: “It’s perfect!
Sauron will never expect that!”
…silence
…silence
…silence
Elrond: “I have to admit…it is pretty good.”