Discussion December Collection Discussion Thread

[Laurë]

The real question is, what nickname do we derive from Findaráto? Or should I break my father-name rule this once and just call him Ingo.

Hmmm . . . Finda? Ara? Rato?

 

[Server Room Gremlin]

I've used 'Findo' before (though I don't think it's common). It should be what makes sense for your story/characters. Perhaps Finrod's close family preferred to use 'Ingo' as a nickname, since they used his mother-name more often.

 

[Laurë]

Findo does make a lot of sense. It depends on what Fingon would call him, I suppose. I'm leaning toward Ingo just for clarity's sake, as that's his typical nickname I've seen across the fandom. I'd rather be clear then consistent, I think.

 

[Laurë]

Tiny ingo is so cute 🥺. I'm adopting him. Sorry Finarfin, he's my son now.

Fingon's story is ending up longer then I planned. I'm starting to think maybe writing a story that has three other stories inside of it wasn't a great choice for a 'small' project 😂. I'm halfway through, and it's already five pages. I'm think I'm gonna post that half, to keep the 'second part' from being too terribly long.

(Yes, that does mean it's taken me like two months to write the 6-7 new pages I have done. Watch me not finish this until next december, lol).

Um, as for commentary on the part I'm gonna post, I'm really interested to see your reactions.

I'm trying to describe something I don't know a whole lot about. I probably should have done research for this, but oh well. I think some of my description is pretty clunky, but I'm learning and growing, right? Hopefully it's not too hard to read, and if anyone has pointers on specific areas, I'd love to hear it! This is also my first time writing in first person, so if I've made any mistakes in that regard, also let me know.

 

[Server Room Gremlin]

I think the first-person POV was interesting and well done. It did sound like Fingon to me. I quite liked all the nature descriptions of the forest. I could very easily see and feel what you were describing, and it seemed real to me, with the dampness and Laurelin's light and heat (which reacts differently with the weather than sunlight would, since it's in the world rather than above it).
Finding the pheasant's nest seemed realistic enough to me, but all I know about pheasants is that they're birds which live on the ground and some people eat them. 😅

I don't know if I'm imagining it, but something seems slightly ominous to me. Like all might not go according to plan with Nelyo & Finno's hunt.

 

[Ashley]

Tiny Ingo! 🥺🥺 Why do all of you have to write such adorable children? The descriptions of the forest were realistic. Although I don't know much about hunting or tracking, the way you wrote about them seems to work. It was interesting to see how Finno tricked Nelyo into revealing the gift he was making. It was very clever, even though I don't think he intended to at first.

He seemed nervous about the idea of going off without his father, and in hindsight I don’t blame him.

I agree with Servo, I'm definitely getting an ominous feel. This line is especially foreboding, along with the comments about the storm clouds and rain.

 

[Tyelkormo the Fair]

Part one (Nerdanel's story):

I loved the imagery a lot! I could definitely imagine all that Nerdanel was doing without it looking like you were explaining it like a script. What I'm trying to say that it didn't sound monotonous to me.

I find it interesting how you see Kano resemble his father that much. I often read people describing him looking like Míriel with delicate features.
I also loved how you portrayed Nerdanel's foresight as these vague imagery she sees and can't quite explain. Makes sense, or otherwise she would not have sent away Pityo no matter what.

I really liked the portrayal of her personality too. She's brash and headstrong as she should be, or otherwise Fëanor would not have found her desirable to the point of marrying her. She's got a backbone, but she also knows when to pick her battles.

The hesitancy of Maglor broke my heart. No matter what they did, I can't imagine Nerdanel turning her owns babies away from home. They'll always have a place in her heart, and she's forgiven them even if she didn't forgive their father.(Although she still loves him.)

 

[Laurë]

I think the first-person POV was interesting and well done. It did sound like Fingon to me. I quite liked all the nature descriptions of the forest. I could very easily see and feel what you were describing, and it seemed real to me, with the dampness and Laurelin's light and heat (which reacts differently with the weather than sunlight would, since it's in the world rather than above it).
Finding the pheasant's nest seemed realistic enough to me, but all I know about pheasants is that they're birds which live on the ground and some people eat them. 😅

I don't know if I'm imagining it, but something seems slightly ominous to me. Like all might not go according to plan with Nelyo & Finno's hunt.

Thank you!! I appreciate hearing your thoughts. As for pheasants . . . my knowledge consists of a few google searches to get the gist, lol. I thought, it's a fanfic, no ones going to be paying attention to how realistic my pheasants are. In fact, they don't actually molt in the spring, which my story directly contradicts. My excuse is that Valinor pheasants have their own rules 😊 .

Tiny Ingo! 🥺🥺 Why do all of you have to write such adorable children? The descriptions of the forest were realistic. Although I don't know much about hunting or tracking, the way you wrote about them seems to work. It was interesting to see how Finno tricked Nelyo into revealing the gift he was making. It was very clever, even though I don't think he intended to at first.

I agree with Servo, I'm definitely getting an ominous feel. This line is especially foreboding, along with the comments about the storm clouds and rain.

Thank you!! I also don't know a ton about hunting and tracking, which is why I've kept it pretty vague. That's the part I think I maybe should have researched a bit more, but oh well. If it seemed convincing, then that's good enough for me!

As for an ominous feeling . . . you'll have to wait and see 😌

Part one (Nerdanel's story):

I loved the imagery a lot! I could definitely imagine all that Nerdanel was doing without it looking like you were explaining it like a script. What I'm trying to say that it didn't sound monotonous to me.

I find it interesting how you see Kano resemble his father that much. I often read people describing him looking like Míriel with delicate features.
I also loved how you portrayed Nerdanel's foresight as these vague imagery she sees and can't quite explain. Makes sense, or otherwise she would not have sent away Pityo no matter what.

I really liked the portrayal of her personality too. She's brash and headstrong as she should be, or otherwise Fëanor would not have found her desirable to the point of marrying her. She's got a backbone, but she also knows when to pick her battles.

The hesitancy of Maglor broke my heart. No matter what they did, I can't imagine Nerdanel turning her owns babies away from home. They'll always have a place in her heart, and she's forgiven them even if she didn't forgive their father.(Although she still loves him.)

I'm so glad you liked it!! To be completely honest, I tend to think of Fëanor as having delicate features. At least compared to Nerdanel, who in my head has the stronger nose and sharper cheekbones.