The other joke and meme thread

Erestor Arcamen said:

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Anakin:

Being Gen Z is amazing because who else's professors use SpongeBob references to teach marine animal biology? Not millennials!

*Brings out two phones and a laptop*
You were right. I have more than one.

Tyelkormo the Fair said:

*Brings out two phones and a laptop*
You were right. I have more than one.

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A laptop in your pocket??? 🤯

Olorgando said:

A laptop in your pocket??? 🤯

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Of a backpack? No one mentioned which pocket.😌

Tyelkormo the Fair said:

Of a backpack? No one mentioned which pocket.😌

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IIRC you weren't allowed to bring things the size of backpacks into whatever room a test was being given in when I was in high school and college, 1970-75.
In high school at least, I believe we had lockers for coats and bags and stuff.
Calculators of that time also didn't fit into shirt or pants pockets - and for some high school stuff, we definitely still used slide rules.

Olorgando said:

IIRC you weren't allowed to bring things the size of backpacks into whatever room a test was being given in when I was in high school and college, 1970-75.
In high school at least, I believe we had lockers for coats and bags and stuff.
Calculators of that time also didn't fit into shirt or pants pockets - and for some high school stuff, we definitely still used slide rules.

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Well we didn't in all my years in school. I think some of my bad posture is due to me carrying around 10kg of textbooks every day.

Erestor Arcamen said:

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This reminded me of the following QANTAS maintenance log entries.
Pilot entries are probably legit. Corrective action responses, well, not so much (but still funny)

(P) stands for the problem the pilots entered in the log,
(S) stands for the corrective action taken by the mechanics.

------------------

P: Left inside main tire almost needs replacement.
S: Almost replaced left inside main tire.

P: Test flight OK, except autoland very rough.
S: There is no autoland installed on this aircraft.

P: Something loose in cockpit.
S: Something tightened in cockpit.

P: Dead bugs on windshield.
S: Live bugs on back-order.

P: Autopilot in altitude-hold mode produces a 200-fpm descent.
S: Cannot reproduce problem on ground.

P: Evidence of leak on right main landing gear.
S: Evidence removed.

P: DME volume unbelievably loud.
S: DME volume set to more believable level.

P: Friction locks cause throttle levers to stick.
S: That's what they're there for!

P: IFF inoperative.
S: IFF always inoperative in OFF mode.

P: Suspected crack in windscreen.
S: Suspect you're right.

P: Number 3 engine missing. (note: this was for a piston-engine airplane; the pilot meant the engine was not running smoothly)
S: Engine found on right wing after brief search.

P: Aircraft handles funny.
S: Aircraft warned to straighten up, fly right, and be serious.

P: Radar hums.
S: Reprogrammed radar with words.

P: Mouse in cockpit.
S: Cat installed.

P: Noise coming from under instrument panel. Sounds like a midget pounding on something with a hammer.
S: Took hammer away from midget.

@Olorgando.... I'm guessing maybe you haven't spent a lot of time around 4 year-olds....

Ever have a great idea while falling asleep, only to forget what it was the next day? This happened to a young naval officer during WWII.

Lying in his bunk, mulling over the challenges of the war, various pieces of the puzzle seemed to coalesce into an idea, one that could shorten the conflict by months, maybe years, with a significant saving of lives. He examined the plan for flaws, but could find none. This would work! Fearful he might forget his plan the next day, he made a note of the key elements on his notepad.

The next morning, he woke up still elated about his breakthrough, but -- was unable to recall what it was exactly. Then he remembered his note! He eagerly snatched up the paper, and read:

The skin is mightier than the banana

My father told me this one this morning, so credit goes to him.

An Englishman, a Frenchman, a Spaniard, and a German go to a juggling show. The juggler starts his performance, but the men complain of not being able to fully see him. The juggler brings out a crate to stand on, and asks if that gives the men a better view. The gentlemen reply as follows:

The Englishman says, "Yes!",
the Frenchman, "Oui!",
the Spaniard, "Sí!",
the German, "Ja!"

Erestor Arcamen said:

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The Age 12 thing is pretty accurate. A friend of mine told me about the time he was playing on trampoline at a friend's house and he fell and broke both his thumbs, he then decided he'd had quite enough of trampolines for one day, so he got on his bicycle and rode home, with broken thumbs! I can't remember how old he said he was at the time, probably around 11 or 12.

One day when I was 12, the family was about to go on a car trip, so I decided to take a quick spin up and down the street on my bike before having to be stuck in the back seat for hours. On the way back up to the house, the handlebars came off, tossing me onto the asphalt. My Mom cleaned up my wounds, and off we went.