What are you writing about now?

[Server Room Gremlin]

Didn't Tolkien make a comment about his tale growing in the telling of it?

I feel like it's a common thing. I often say this: "I know where my story's going, I just don't know how many words it will take me to get there."

 

[david_wendelken]

Officially at FIRST DRAFT status on Volume 1. Woot!

 

[Ashley]

Officially at FIRST DRAFT status on Volume 1. Woot!

Congratulations!!!

 

[david_wendelken]

I've started the editing process. I'm cleaning up simple typos, misspelled words, and, and simple grammatical mistakes, particularly those that relate to clarity.
@Ent will be pleased to know that my hard work of removing extraneous "that" words in the last book paid off, I only have 1/3 as many "that"s to double-check this time.

The other big probem was overusing the verb "looked" for a bazillion different meanings. I'm pleased to report "looked" didn't even show up as a frequently used word this time.

 

[david_wendelken]

Don't know whether you will agree with this or not, or find it useful, but I'll pass it on. My grammar checkers complain about it all the time.

And they are right to do so, but I think I'm right to ignore them.

I'm not writing modern action-thriller fiction. I'm writing high epic fantasy. I want their conversation to have a tone to it that's steeped in archaic speech. I use a goodly number of archaic words but there's a limit after which modern readers just give up.

I've found that if I use the adjective form of a word instead of its adverb form, the language sounds more formal and more archaic.

Instead of saying, "Tell me, honestly and plainly, ...", I use "Tell me, honest and plain, ..."

Hope you find it useful.

 

[david_wendelken]

After pulling out discarded scenes and outline notes, Volume 1 stands at about 133,000 words.

I'm now going through the (planned) Timeline in the Appendix and comparing it to the text as it developed. There are, of course, discrepancies. Some are legitimate changes in my intent, others are errors that need to be resolved by shifting events forward or back a smidge. Not a big deal in terms of difficulty, but it will take a day or two more.

I spent yesterday and most of today using ProWritingAid to check for grammar and spelling in Volume One. There were about 2,000 issues that it found, many of which were small mistakes that made it past my "as-I-write-it" editing. Also a bunch of incorrect suggestions.

I mentioned that I've been intentionally using the adjective vs the adverb form of words to change the tone/style of the writing to make it more formal/archaic sounding. I realized later that I do one other technique for the same purpose.

Years ago I was an editor for several software user group technical journals. I noticed that folks who came from the former Soviet Union tended to drop the articles in their writing. It was so pronounced a trend I could pick them out even in blind reviews of journal submissions. (Not that I cared about their origin, just their grammar!)

I've found that dropping some articles (i.e., the, a, an) and even an occasional preposition has a really good impact on the archaic style I'm aiming for. It's completely understandable English, but it scans differently. Simpler, more direct, much like early forms of English before it got Frenchified. (Frenchified, a word clearly understood enough for my grammar checker to suggest "heavily influenced by the French language")

In addition, I invert the word order of adjectives or noun/adjective pairs on occasion.

 

[david_wendelken]

Made my first pass through the timeline appendix. It contains events for both Volumes 1 and 2 because they were originally one book!

Marked where the start of the Volume 2 timeline starts. I'll make all changes to the timeline in this file, copy it to Volume 2, then removec the Volume 2 entries in the Volume 1 copy.

I realized I don't need much detail in the timeline if the events were covered in the book text. Typically I just need a year, a location, and a one line or sentence description. There are a few entries that are nifty or informative that aren't in the main storyline, so those few will remain more detailed. (Kind of like the LOTR appendices, actually.) Cutting down the description size for most entries will reduce page count and editing time.

I unravelled a few of the timeline issues this evening. I should be able to finish that task this weekend after I make some serious progress on my Figure Drawing class assignments.

 

[david_wendelken]

Sample line I like.

Medlin spoke slowly, as if threading each new word to the last with a workmanlike knot.

 

[david_wendelken]

Another line:

“The King commands, Duty requires, Honour obeys,” was his oath of fealty and thus his answer.

 

[david_wendelken]

A couple more lines before bed:

She now reminded me of a cat stalking its prey, only with words and gestures instead of tooth and claw.

*** (along with a "translator's" footnote: ***

I used several Adûnaic idioms, most notably a phrase well known to natives of Umbar but not outsiders — Aryamazah never made a trade with a dark priest[1] hidden inside it. The foreigner translated it without hesitation as, “He always made trades to the mutual benefit of all.”

---

[1] Technically, the phrase referred only to “a priest”, not “a dark priest”. Neither the elves nor the men of Westernesse had — nor allowed — priests in their societies. So, to them, all priests were by definition “dark priests”, i.e., priests of The Morgoth, Sauron, or other evil powers. They understood that other peoples had goodly folk who acted as priests, and tolerated them, but did not allow them to practice as such in Arnor, Gondor, or elven lands. To avoid confusion amongst modern readers who do not read footnotes, the editors have chosen to use the term “dark priest” throughout this series.

 

[Tyelkormo the Fair]

I finished the last chapter of OMITS' first arc a few days ago, and I've been busy thinking about a crime original story this past week. I'll update you all on that as well.

 

[ZehnWaters]

Currently writing an AU about the Faithful arriving in ME and how an RPG team might affect history. An Alliance with Umbar* and Isildur spotting Sauron's return via the Ithil Palantír sees a premature defeat of Sauron, the survival of Gil-Galad, Oropher, Amdír, and Isildur's sons (Isildur is lost at sea).

*The RPG team, with the help of Morinehtar, convince a party of Black Númenóreans that Sauron is to blame for the Downfall of Númenor and instigate a coup against the Black Númenóreans who are more allied with Sauron. They're opposed by one of the Nazgûl (I haven't decided which yet) who is working with Fuinur and Herumor.

 

[david_wendelken]

The timeline in the appendix is corrected and the relevant dates are all corrected.

Here's another line:

“Running from problems only makes them fleet of foot.

Dodging problems trains them to strike without warning.

Embrace them, discard fear and make them allies.”

• Telicur, Lessons to my Sons

 

[david_wendelken]

I'm now going through my text searching for instances where I wrote "began to (verb)" or "started to (verb)" instead of just (verb in different tense). I'm only leaving the original wording if they get interrupted quickly and never actually do the (verb). I caught a lot of them in my new writing as I went, but there are still 40 to review.

 

[david_wendelken]

@Ent will be pleased I've now put the word "that" into my editing sights. I've removed 69% of the usages in the first 42 pages. I'm not counting the many that usages from when I quote of the Doom of Mandos. When the Valar speak, we accept their wording as is.
"That" is a pernicious word. It likes to sneak into lots of sentences.

 

[david_wendelken]

It took all day, but I got rid of 86% of the usages of "that". The new sentences are as good and often better.

 

[david_wendelken]

I found this to be very good advice on designing a story.

 

[WatcherWraith]

I found this to be very good advice on designing a story.

Will be using this. Thank you :]

 

[Tyelkormo the Fair]

I have planned out my very first chapter of my short crime story, Crown of Bells.

I think I'll start my work on it this weekend, which would be in two days for me.

 

[Ent]

"That" is a pernicious word. It likes to sneak into lots of sentences.

Indeed..!

It took all day, but I got rid of 86% of the usages of "that". The new sentences are as good and often better.

As I believe I've noted, those much wiser than I, who work on "that" and its impact, note in general some 80+ percent can always be eliminated. Not all are "useless thats" - in fact, in some cases a "proper that" is the best, most succinct way to deliver a punch - but the rest have a general tendency to both encumber, and reduce the power of delivery, and so the impact, of our words.


As an editor, (as I think I've also noted), my first pass at any work is an assault on "that". By doing so, I am able to both familiarize myself with the author's work (since there are plenty of 'thats' strewn throughout), and clean it up for smoother reading when I get down to the real work of editing.

"That" is the simple part of editing, and sets the stage for the tough stuff.