Thoughts on Cracks and Blunders, Chapter One
Wow, another amazing chapter, and one that left me giddy and smiling. To start, I love the simplicity of the childhood of the Eldar. It's one thing that I think isn't explored enough, given that
Elves age so interestingly and are pretty much immortal in most senses. I really enjoyed this part, and seeing
the young Elda being kids, but still having the
principles and attitudes and personalities that will later show themselves and reveal themselves more and more, was really neat. I love also, how real the story you've written here is. Although we don't hear about any specific
bow that
Fingolfin imparted to his son, it makes perfect sense and follows into an entirely plausible narrative, and one that I think brings even more depth and relatability to the characters, which could never be a bad thing.
I love also the twins, and the very real truth that kids that young seldom actually know what their actions mean. And, perhaps I am thinking too far ahead here, but I also wonder if it is not in some ways a subtle hint or reference to present day
events, as well, since while Elves (and humans, too, honestly) will have an understanding that hitting someone is bound to hurt them by adulthood, but still may not grasp some of the things we do that can cause the greatest pain to one another. I'm curious whether that is going to be some mild foreshadowing, and if it is, I'm definitely here for it.
I really loved the very child-like demeanors of everyone, too. It really is how I would imagine them all having been in their younger years, and it's amazing, because you capture it in such a rich and vivid way that you can totally see these little kids becoming the people you know that they will eventually.
Maedhros being so absorbed in his studies,
Fingon trying to be helpful by fetching a healer, Tyelko using "half-cousin", which likely would have come from hearing "half-brother" all the time from
Feanor when he spoke of Fingolfin. It's just those little details that to me, feel so real and in a really true way, bring the story to life, maybe in an even more understandable and certainly more relatable way, than what canon Silmarillion has included.
This scene with the healers, too, was just-- amazing! I love how you get the awkward, stumbling over your words type of behavior, because that's exactly how kids tend to be in those kinds of situations, and it's great, too, how everyone's personalities so quickly get shown. And then of course, the apologies, the blushing, the little nods and glances and grins and wondering if they saw that, and wondering if they like you-- so real when it comes to the strange awkwardness of loving someone. It's like this innocent little crush between these too, and I'm totally here for it.
I'm also wondering what will happen with this note! I would guess, that
Maitimo is going to show up at the pond, but of course, I suppose he could shock us all, too. And I love how there's so much fire in Aranya, and yet, it's not disrespect. I think, I've often disliked that in certain stories. It's easy for "bucking authority" or "rebelliousness" to become just plain disrespectful. I like that she still respects and understands the fact that... they are royalty, and she is not, but the fiery and equal-chance attitude I think is a fun way to reveal her personality just enough, and yet still bridge it with being a respectful and dedicated young lady, which I am sure would be the reason why she is a healer and is allowed to work so close with the royalty.
A brief commentary on the characters
The characters in this one were so compelling and interesting, too. I'll focus mainly on Aranya and Maedhros, but I feel I would be amiss to not at least mention the great stuff you did with the others, too!
Firstly, Tyelko and Finno. I thought these two were done so well, especially bickering back and forth. To me, it's an entirely believable narrative and totally normal for little kids. And Maitimo in the middle as the peacemaker, I believe is accurate too, and certainly a subtle foreshadowing for what he will become in the future, which I think is always a neat detail to include. I like how he was trying to balance all of this fighting and disagreement, because, I would say, to some capacity he does that in the
books, too, just later on with actual nations that protest and despise each other. Starting out young!
I also loved little Pityo and Telvo, just figuring out what it means to live and breathe and hurt someone accidentally, and what that makes you feel. It's odd, but all those things really do have to be learned. (Side note, I can remember it was a long time before I figured that pain was actually a thing and not just an unpleasant sensation to keep to yourself... it took cutting myself while playing with a toy and bleeding all over before my mother finally told me that
yes, this is a real thing, and yes, if you have something that hurts, you can tell someone. Just a funny memory I had while reading this) And I love the nicknames, and the bickering and copying voices and stuff, just SO real for little kids who are being little
monsters to each other.
Finally, Maitimo. I loved how you wrote him in his little form. Already a peacemaker, like I mentioned, but even the subtle things: voice cracks, getting taller, feeling sore from basically growing pains-- such a real experience that I think makes him so relatable. I also love how he's almost a little puffed up about the fact that he studies so hard. It's great, because you just know that Feanor has been instilling that in him for a long time,
Nerdanel too, honestly, and what parents value is absolutely what you'll value too, at that age.
I like his interactions with Aranya, too. It reveals subtle things about him, like how he's not afraid to admit that he's wrong about something and apologize, which of course makes him a far more likeable character, and I think very much fits the canon version of Maedhros which we later get. I think it's so good, too, how this awkward little mess is blooming into something more, because at that age, that's so often exactly how it happens.
And now Aranya. Wow, loved how we see more of her spunkiness in this chapter! And it makes sense that you would, too, because she's much more in the capacity of being able to be herself completely in this scene. Obviously, life and pain and grief and other things are bound to shape you, and I'm very curious to see what kind of events and things have brought her from being the spunky and unafraid healer girl to the more withdrawn, worried person we see in the most present chapters.
I loved the way that she was respectful, but still very much believable for a younger person, getting on Maitimo for not having enough fun, being insulted that her age was being assumed just because she's short, and even having the courage to send the note. It was great, because I think it's really real for someone in her capacity and age, and it's likeable, while still revealing the rebellious teenager norm, and maybe something even behind that which goes even deeper.
Loved this chapter so much and can't wait to keep reading! Amazing job,
@Maedhros_Nelyafinwë !
